Post by ashuchan on Sept 26, 2010 18:12:37 GMT -5
Maybe not all love, just anything that comes into my life lately. I basically flushed 4 years down the toilet. Had this on again/off again thing with someone I thought I really truly loved and thought felt the same. Saddly, I came #2, just behind a career. I keep going back and forth with my feelings. One moment I feel like im done and don't give a f*ck. The next im missing him like crazy cause theres noone in the world who could compare.
When we called it quits I was texting with him for over an hr with it and 1 & 1/2 of a xanax just to stop sobbing and freaking out as much as I was. He lives overseas in London and I kept thinking, maybe if I could just get there and face him head on, maybe if I could just stay it would be ok. I don't have anything holding me here physically. I just cannot afford to finance getting there.
This is kinda why I came back to RS too. I need to lean on people so I don't feel so alone and I <3 you guys. I was pms'ing hardcore and started getting into things with him again shortly before I left.
Part of me thinks maybe he will show up again. Never fails, every 3-6 months he pops up like nothing happened and tries casually to be friends but that's impossible cause we have such an attraction for one another and insane chemistry. It's such a spiral. *sigh*
When we called it quits I was texting with him for over an hr with it and 1 & 1/2 of a xanax just to stop sobbing and freaking out as much as I was. He lives overseas in London and I kept thinking, maybe if I could just get there and face him head on, maybe if I could just stay it would be ok. I don't have anything holding me here physically. I just cannot afford to finance getting there.
This is kinda why I came back to RS too. I need to lean on people so I don't feel so alone and I <3 you guys. I was pms'ing hardcore and started getting into things with him again shortly before I left.
Part of me thinks maybe he will show up again. Never fails, every 3-6 months he pops up like nothing happened and tries casually to be friends but that's impossible cause we have such an attraction for one another and insane chemistry. It's such a spiral. *sigh*