Post by joshploof on Jan 4, 2010 21:23:18 GMT -5
Frank the Entertainer in A Basement Affair
Ep.101- Meet the Marescas
In the season one premiere, the show opens with a mob boss sounding narrator describing New York City, the location for the show.
The scene then switches to Frank’s house and you hear Frank’s bitch of a mom yelling at him for someone being in the house. Something tells me she’s going to be more annoying than Sister Patterson was on I Love New York. She yells “You sure you don’t have some girl down there in my house?” What the fuck is her problem? Her 31 year old son isn’t allowed to have a woman down in the basement? She obviously doesn’t see the homosexuality most of us see in Frank. His parents then start to talk about how their other four children are such successes (Lawyers, special ed teachers) And Frank is the disappointment of the family, still living in the basement. Frank then talks about how good life at home is because he gets everything for free and he doesn’t have to have a job. He then reveals that the show won’t be in a fancy mansion, but right there in the Maresca’s house.
The first girl to talk upon entering the house is Annie, who looks an awful lot like Danny Tanner in Drag
Yes that IS a woman.
She says in her very high-pitched, lisp voice “As I’m looking at the houth, um I’m surprised because I thought we would be like, in this big crathy mansion but really it’s just like a real home with like a real family in it.” Yes Annie, I’m not sure where you came from, because well you look like your parents abandoned you on the doorsteps of an orphanage, BUT usually in REAL homes they have a REAL family.
Frank then comes up and all the girls spring up off of the 1970’s looking sofa and cheer and clap and scream.
Then Melissa who looks an aweful lot like Heather Chadwell on welfare says “I see his body and it’s like mmm, me want to touch, like I’m gonna touch his pecs, he can touch mine too if he wants.” Is she alluding that in a later episode she’ll reveal herself as a man?
Frank welcomes the girls, saying how all of them are beautiful (Annie’s in the back) and how hard it already is for him, just seeing their looks.
The girls then choose their rooms, with Felicia doing the cliché “of love” show girl likes another girls bed more so she moves the girl who originally had the bed’s bag and thinks she’s big and bad because she did it.
Cathy and Kerri S are the two girls that know each other from home and are best friends, and I’m assuming are the ones that are going to turn on each other halfway through the competition, but Cathy claims she’ll always have her back.
Kerry S and Felicia decide to team up as the early villians of the house by talking shit about Annie and her flower pants. Like really, there’s SO many things wrong with Annie and ALL you can make fun of is her flower pants? Villain fail.
The girls then get called to the living room to get family photos taken and so the girls can make first impressions on Frank and his parents.
The first girl up is Melody, 35, but she’s very sexy. Frank fears she’s a little too old (four year difference is too much?) and woman can’t have babies forever (because obviously 35 is much too old to have babies)
Next up is Mandy, who looks an aweful lot like Kari from King of Queens, she’s an aweful lot like Frank, they’re both from Long Island, and they both live in their parent’s house still. Frank in his parent’s basement and Mandy in her parent’s attic. Frank’s mother of course hates this, as she doesn’t want someone moving into the basement, so if Frank chose Mandy, they’d be living in her attic. Mandy then rubs Frank’s mother the wrong way when she says “you never know you may end up being apart of my family someday” and Mandy says “Lucky you” which infuriates her
The next noticeable girl is Jenny, who works for government contracting, in which her dad owns. Frank’s mother loves her, and Frank finds her incredibly hot.
Akward Annie comes in and no one thinks she’s Frank’s type, probably because her nose and her hair and just her…..everything. But Frank thinks she’s a very sweet girl and he says he’s open minded, like doing an ugly girl is kinky to him or something.
Tammy, the asian of the show comes in saying “Hi, I’m asian you don’t have any problems with asian Chinese food, do you?” to which Frank replies “I’ve never had it” which is mom corrects him for because they eat Chinese food all the time and Frank, genius that he is reples “Asian Chinese food, it might be different.”
Renee’s been engaged two times, her first of 8 years, never came home the night of her birthday, and the other he cheated on her with lesbians. Yupp, sounds like a keeper to me.
Ep.101- Meet the Marescas
In the season one premiere, the show opens with a mob boss sounding narrator describing New York City, the location for the show.
The scene then switches to Frank’s house and you hear Frank’s bitch of a mom yelling at him for someone being in the house. Something tells me she’s going to be more annoying than Sister Patterson was on I Love New York. She yells “You sure you don’t have some girl down there in my house?” What the fuck is her problem? Her 31 year old son isn’t allowed to have a woman down in the basement? She obviously doesn’t see the homosexuality most of us see in Frank. His parents then start to talk about how their other four children are such successes (Lawyers, special ed teachers) And Frank is the disappointment of the family, still living in the basement. Frank then talks about how good life at home is because he gets everything for free and he doesn’t have to have a job. He then reveals that the show won’t be in a fancy mansion, but right there in the Maresca’s house.
The first girl to talk upon entering the house is Annie, who looks an awful lot like Danny Tanner in Drag
Yes that IS a woman.
She says in her very high-pitched, lisp voice “As I’m looking at the houth, um I’m surprised because I thought we would be like, in this big crathy mansion but really it’s just like a real home with like a real family in it.” Yes Annie, I’m not sure where you came from, because well you look like your parents abandoned you on the doorsteps of an orphanage, BUT usually in REAL homes they have a REAL family.
Frank then comes up and all the girls spring up off of the 1970’s looking sofa and cheer and clap and scream.
Then Melissa who looks an aweful lot like Heather Chadwell on welfare says “I see his body and it’s like mmm, me want to touch, like I’m gonna touch his pecs, he can touch mine too if he wants.” Is she alluding that in a later episode she’ll reveal herself as a man?
Frank welcomes the girls, saying how all of them are beautiful (Annie’s in the back) and how hard it already is for him, just seeing their looks.
The girls then choose their rooms, with Felicia doing the cliché “of love” show girl likes another girls bed more so she moves the girl who originally had the bed’s bag and thinks she’s big and bad because she did it.
Cathy and Kerri S are the two girls that know each other from home and are best friends, and I’m assuming are the ones that are going to turn on each other halfway through the competition, but Cathy claims she’ll always have her back.
Kerry S and Felicia decide to team up as the early villians of the house by talking shit about Annie and her flower pants. Like really, there’s SO many things wrong with Annie and ALL you can make fun of is her flower pants? Villain fail.
The girls then get called to the living room to get family photos taken and so the girls can make first impressions on Frank and his parents.
The first girl up is Melody, 35, but she’s very sexy. Frank fears she’s a little too old (four year difference is too much?) and woman can’t have babies forever (because obviously 35 is much too old to have babies)
Next up is Mandy, who looks an aweful lot like Kari from King of Queens, she’s an aweful lot like Frank, they’re both from Long Island, and they both live in their parent’s house still. Frank in his parent’s basement and Mandy in her parent’s attic. Frank’s mother of course hates this, as she doesn’t want someone moving into the basement, so if Frank chose Mandy, they’d be living in her attic. Mandy then rubs Frank’s mother the wrong way when she says “you never know you may end up being apart of my family someday” and Mandy says “Lucky you” which infuriates her
The next noticeable girl is Jenny, who works for government contracting, in which her dad owns. Frank’s mother loves her, and Frank finds her incredibly hot.
Akward Annie comes in and no one thinks she’s Frank’s type, probably because her nose and her hair and just her…..everything. But Frank thinks she’s a very sweet girl and he says he’s open minded, like doing an ugly girl is kinky to him or something.
Tammy, the asian of the show comes in saying “Hi, I’m asian you don’t have any problems with asian Chinese food, do you?” to which Frank replies “I’ve never had it” which is mom corrects him for because they eat Chinese food all the time and Frank, genius that he is reples “Asian Chinese food, it might be different.”
Renee’s been engaged two times, her first of 8 years, never came home the night of her birthday, and the other he cheated on her with lesbians. Yupp, sounds like a keeper to me.
Stephanie walks in saying she’s a model who does swimsuit, lingerie, everything except nude. And in recent news, click here for Stephanie’s nude pictures. Not really though.
Frank wants to know if she’s there to meet Frank or the entertainer because they’re “two of the same people”. Another quote showing what genius qualities Frank has.
Kerri M. walks being ugly (looks like a fat, pregnant, motherly version of Jamie Lynn Spears.) and boring, Frank thinks she’s a very nice girl, but doesn’t have any conversational skills.
Jessica comes in and reminds me of Amy Winehouse, she has her eyeliner lined past her eyes making her look like an Egyptian cat, and she’s acting like a complete crack head. Frank even wonders if she’s on something, and yes Frank, she is.
Cathy probably stole Jessica’s drugs because she can’t stop talking and informs everyone about how when she was 9 years old she liked to tan on her deck, and that she likes to shave her legs like it’s something that not a lot of girls do or something.
The girls then mingle in the kitchen/living room Mandy reveals her two fathers think she’s a lesbian, probably because she’s more butch than they are.
Jenny and Kristy want a tour of Frank’s basement. He starts asking the girls- well mostly Jenny questions about her and why she’s there and completely forgets Kristy’s name, but of course remembering Jenny’s name because well, she’s hot. Jenny reveals she’s never had a boyfriend, and she stutters, repeating she’s never had a boyfriend 3 or 4 times in a row.
Junkie Jessica talks with Frank’s parents and repeatedly says definitely, so much so they put a “How many times can Jessica say definitely” counter up.
Akward Annie has a conversation with Frank about being a video artist… if you want to see her video are look up scandilishous on you tube. She has a song about her butt… enough said. She reveals she’s a little kinky too. She then delivers the best quote of the episode “I think Frank is definitely sexy. I mean if he wanted to he could suck on my toes. I mean I don’t wanna force anyone into anything, but you know that would be cool.”
Frank starts questioning Stephanie about why she’s there and if someone sent her there to get exposure, which of course she denies. However, she also knows NOTHING about Frank, and doesn’t even know how he got eliminated on I Love New York. She claims she knows a lot about him, but can’t tell him what she knows, cause it’s super secret.
Akward Annie then talks to Frank’s parents and says she doesn’t think him living in their basement is a bad thing because at least he’s close to his family. I’m thinking Annie will just say what anyone wants to hear because Frank is her LAST chance at getting a decent looking man. Frank’s mother predicts Annie will be the first one gone.
It’s elimination time and the ladies line up and Frank comes in with a key to his parent’s basement. Hot piece of ass Jenny gets the first key followed by Tammy, Kerry S., Felicia, Junky Jessica, Akward Annie, Melody, Dana, Christy, Renee, Melissa, and Cathy. The three girls without a key are Mandy, Stephanie and Kerry M. With one key left Frank explains that his mom hates Mandy, He thinks Stephanie is there for exposure and Kerry M is a nice girl, but boring. He then calls Mandy to come down and get her key, upsetting his mom, and sending Kerry M and Stephanie home.
