Post by * SweetCakes * on Dec 28, 2009 15:56:48 GMT -5
This guy writes a "Reality Roundup" type of blog. Here's what he posted about The Ruins recently:
“The Ruins”
Probably the best reality show of the fall season. I’ll keep saying it until someone listens to me: I hope these challenges never end. Hell, most of these contestants lives revolve around these challenges. They just collect money doing appearances and challenges, so actually going out into the “real world” and getting a job probably isn’t happening in my lifetime. Good. Then keep pumping out more seasons of this stuff. I have a few rules, or necessities, from each season here on out. This must be mandatory for every future “Challenge” season:
1. Kenny, Evan, and Johnny Bananas must be in each season. Not only because they’re the most entertaining, but in the words of the great Ric Flair, “To be the man, you gotta beat the man”. And no one seems to be able to take down these guys. So as long as they don’t lose, I say they keep bringing them back. And if they do finally lose, even more incentive to bring them back because there’ll be hell to pay.
2. Three of these four must also be on every season: Wes, Johanna, Kelly Anne, Cohutta. We all want a good love triangle. And is there a better one on television right now than Wes/Johanna/Kelly Anne with Cohutta ankle biting on them trying to squeeze in? Didn’t think so. Anytime you can get an upset Johanna threatening to take Wes’ name of the deed of their house that they bought together, that’s priceless. Throw in the fact that at any point, Wes’ roid rage is capable of killing another human being, or that Kelly Anne’s fembot breasts are quite enjoyable to look at, lets just keep these three in the loop. Imagine casting a season involving Wes and Johanna but not Kelly Anne? Think Wes stays faithful? Not a chance. How about casting Kelly Anne and Cohutta without Wes? Let’s see if horny Kelly Anne can not spread her legs for her ex. Doubt it.
3. Feel free to never cast Casey again. Yes, I understand she brings comedic value to the show for being the worst physical player we’ve ever seen, but after a while, it gets old. She brings nothing to the show other than implants, drunkenness, and the athletic ability of a 3rd grader. Stay home.
4. TJ Lavin. Enough said. I don’t know where they plucked this guy from, and I don’t care anymore. I’ve never been more mesmerized by a game show host with less talent than this pud. For some reason I find myself more amused every season with his lack of excitement, lack of knowledge, and complete disregard for any TV hosting training. Your local Channel 8 News Team is jealous of how well he can read cue cards.
5. More blacklight, behind-the-scenes, under-the-covers shots. This is a must. Look, if you’re gonna stick 30 some-odd people in a house in a foreign country, and most of them have already hooked up at some point, then we need to see it. I want to see footage of CT banging Shauvon’s big ass before getting caught. Any fellatio happening in the woods needs to be caught on camera, or at least give us the sound, a la “Joe Millionaire”. Did anybody hook up on the “Ruins” other than Evan falling asleep with Veronica one night? Step up your game, MTV. The only reason you air ANY show on your network is to show sex, fighting, teen pregnancy, or drinking. Let’s keep it going on the Challenges.
“The Ruins”
Probably the best reality show of the fall season. I’ll keep saying it until someone listens to me: I hope these challenges never end. Hell, most of these contestants lives revolve around these challenges. They just collect money doing appearances and challenges, so actually going out into the “real world” and getting a job probably isn’t happening in my lifetime. Good. Then keep pumping out more seasons of this stuff. I have a few rules, or necessities, from each season here on out. This must be mandatory for every future “Challenge” season:
1. Kenny, Evan, and Johnny Bananas must be in each season. Not only because they’re the most entertaining, but in the words of the great Ric Flair, “To be the man, you gotta beat the man”. And no one seems to be able to take down these guys. So as long as they don’t lose, I say they keep bringing them back. And if they do finally lose, even more incentive to bring them back because there’ll be hell to pay.
2. Three of these four must also be on every season: Wes, Johanna, Kelly Anne, Cohutta. We all want a good love triangle. And is there a better one on television right now than Wes/Johanna/Kelly Anne with Cohutta ankle biting on them trying to squeeze in? Didn’t think so. Anytime you can get an upset Johanna threatening to take Wes’ name of the deed of their house that they bought together, that’s priceless. Throw in the fact that at any point, Wes’ roid rage is capable of killing another human being, or that Kelly Anne’s fembot breasts are quite enjoyable to look at, lets just keep these three in the loop. Imagine casting a season involving Wes and Johanna but not Kelly Anne? Think Wes stays faithful? Not a chance. How about casting Kelly Anne and Cohutta without Wes? Let’s see if horny Kelly Anne can not spread her legs for her ex. Doubt it.
3. Feel free to never cast Casey again. Yes, I understand she brings comedic value to the show for being the worst physical player we’ve ever seen, but after a while, it gets old. She brings nothing to the show other than implants, drunkenness, and the athletic ability of a 3rd grader. Stay home.
4. TJ Lavin. Enough said. I don’t know where they plucked this guy from, and I don’t care anymore. I’ve never been more mesmerized by a game show host with less talent than this pud. For some reason I find myself more amused every season with his lack of excitement, lack of knowledge, and complete disregard for any TV hosting training. Your local Channel 8 News Team is jealous of how well he can read cue cards.
5. More blacklight, behind-the-scenes, under-the-covers shots. This is a must. Look, if you’re gonna stick 30 some-odd people in a house in a foreign country, and most of them have already hooked up at some point, then we need to see it. I want to see footage of CT banging Shauvon’s big ass before getting caught. Any fellatio happening in the woods needs to be caught on camera, or at least give us the sound, a la “Joe Millionaire”. Did anybody hook up on the “Ruins” other than Evan falling asleep with Veronica one night? Step up your game, MTV. The only reason you air ANY show on your network is to show sex, fighting, teen pregnancy, or drinking. Let’s keep it going on the Challenges.
